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We are living in anxious times. Paint a picture of unmitigated gloom often
enough on 24-hour rolling news programmes and it's hard to avoid the virus
of fear it spreads. We react by feeling anxious and somehow frozen, as
though we can't move forwards. Whether you're working or want to work,
whether you've got a mortgage or you're burdened with credit-card debt, or
whether you are watching your nest egg vaporise, you're likely to feel that
2009 is an uncomfortable, if not terrifying, prospect.
As a clinical hypnotherapist who helps people to make changes in their lives,
I've seen a steady increase in the number of clients with anxiety problems
in recent months. They're worried about money, they're anxious about keeping
their jobs, they can't sleep, and I'm seeing more people who feel out of
control and who are using self-destructive forms of behaviour - shopping
they can't afford, drinking, comfort eating - to try to escape their
negative feelings. Many of them have physical symptoms that confirm their
stress: insomnia, nausea, headaches and shallow breathing are common. For
all of them there is an underlying current of anxiety and fear.
To say that I understand how they feel is an understatement. For most of my
life I've felt as though I am anxiety personified. There's a predisposition
for people who feel that way to find a release for their uncomfortable
emotions - drinking, taking drugs, or some other form of escapist behaviour.
I've been through a lot of them and I've beaten them all, including smoking.
I'm a survivor and that is what equips me to advise you on how to find
healthy alternatives to shift the way you look at the economic crisis.
Instead of feeling immobilised by anxiety, you can approach 2009 with the
knowledge that you will come through it intact.
We're not talking about conquering the world; we need to be realistic. This is
a time when there is value in the idea of going back to basics, of doing
what we know will work and focusing on what matters. What I can do is guide
you through strategies that will make your circumstances seem less daunting,
and that will move you out of a position of despair and into one of strength
and resilience.
The key to dealing with anxiety is to look at what's going on in your head, to
examine how you perceive what's happening around you and to adjust the
filter through which you see and feel these things. If you distinguish
between the fears that are based on what's happening and the fears of an
imaginary version of what might happen - the bailiff at door or who might
knock one day, the P45 and the possibility of redundancy - you're on the way
to finding survival techniques. By focusing on what's happening now, and on
what you want rather than what you fear, on positives rather than negatives,
you can protect yourself and summon up the confidence to take the next best
step. This is my area. I'm not going to advise you on the best credit card,
but I can tell you how to live within the life that circumstances prescribe,
how to accept and make the most of what's happening to you, how to combat
the doom and gloom around you by becoming mentally tough.
So that you know where this advice is coming from, I'll tell you about myself.
I was born in 1960 and grew up around the Kings Road, Chelsea. I was aware
of great affluence around me, and equally aware that my family wasn't
affluent. When I was a boy my father was a photographic agent and a model:
his hand did the walking in the Yellow Pages ads. My parents had a clothes
shop, one of the first boutiques. They were bohemian and in the 1970s the
Kings Road was pretty wild. There was probably a part of me that loved it
because it took away the feelings that were lurking under the surface of not
feeling comfortable. My father had been married before and wasn't divorced
when he met my mum. There were problems, I was an only child, I was
impressionable. I hated school and would wake up each day with terrible
anxiety, not wanting to go, convinced that I was going to be beaten. When I
discovered things such as cannabis it was a relief. I managed to get a place
at St Martins School of Art but I wasn't in good shape and left and went off
to New York. Since then I've done a lot of things. I've designed magazines
and record covers, I've sold advertising for commission-only during the
early 1990s recession. That was demoralising. I set up a marketing company
doing telecoms and that got my dad and I through the 1990s: we sold the
business and then I traded mobile phones on the web until the dot-com
collapse. It makes me shudder to think about it, yet it was through enduring
experiences such as this that I came to understand the importance of dealing
with anxiety, rather than letting it control you. It was at this time that I
had a lot of therapy and was supported by good friends, including the woman
who is now my wife and the mother of our two-year-old son, and I began to
rebuild my life.
I'd had some hypnosis in the 1980s and loved it and as I used it again I
started to understand how important it is to be mentally well - you are what
you think. That's when I decided to become involved in helping people to
make changes and trained as a clinical hypnotherapist and a Neuro Linguistic
Programming master practitioner. I think of myself as helping people to
evolve.
My two big tools are posture and breathing and I use them all the time to
anchor myself into what's happening right now. That's my third tool: being
present, focusing on what's happening in the moment so that I can't worry
about some imagined fear of the future. Throughout the day, whenever I
notice that I've picked up any stress, I straighten my spine into what I
feel is my confident shape, draw in a long deep breath, being aware of the
stressful feeling as I do so, hold the breath and release it, allowing the
feeling to leave with the breath. Often within three breaths I feel
balanced, clear and calm, focused and oxygenated in my mind, able to move on
to whatever needs to be done.
The other thing I do is to practise self-hypnosis, sometimes in bed, or in a
quiet moment. I visualise thoughts going away, letting go throughout my
body, until I'm calm and relaxated. I also use the principles of yoga, just
a few stretching exercises make a difference, or I stop what I'm doing and
go for a walk. I'm fortunate to have close friends and loved ones with whom
I can communicate what's really going on, so I don't feel as though I'm
burdened and that no one understands me. I face fears by talking about them,
turning them to the light, using breathing and posture, and I am able to
snap out of destructive feelings.
If things are happening that are unsettling I write them down, which is
therapeutic because it gets them out of my head and forces me to look at
them from a different perspective. It's a way of structuring and ordering
what's happening in my life, it gives a sense of control and enables you to
process each of them properly.
I'm big on gratitude too. I'd rather be glad for what I've got than think
about the things I haven't got. Health is the most precious thing and it can
be reassuring to look back at how far I've come.
These are the techniques I'll be explaining this week. Today I focus on
strategies to combat financial anxiety. Later we'll look at making the most
of your relationships, how you can enhance your chances of hanging on to
your job, and I'll be helping you to sleep and to avoid destructive
compulsions. Each day you can download a podcast in which I talk you through
the strategies you need to learn to face - and survive - the rigours of
2009. I wish you luck.
Interview by Penny Wark
He looks like Kramer from 'Seinfeld'!
Mike , Twickers, UK